12.30.08
Posted in Favorite Books and Authors at 9:46 pm by Administrator
“Rats. I can’t tell my gum from my silly putty.” I just hate it when then happens.
For reasons I have never really understood, many people think I am very serious, a deep-thinking intellectual who just doesn’t know how to have fun. What planet do these people come from? Sure, I listen to NPR and watch PBS and think a lot about a lot of things, but “serious”? Ha!
As evidence of my totally non-serious nature, I offer my thoughts on another of my favorite books, Bill Watterson’s The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes (1990). A masterpiece! Spaceman Spiff never looked better. And that first bit with the elephant—I laughed till I peed.
Seriously though, Calvin and Hobbes has long been one of my favorites, and I still suffer from occasional withdrawal thirteen years after Watterson stopped drawing the strip. (Get Fuzzy has taken most of the pain away—most, but not all.) What a relief to be able to dip into one of the C & H books and instantly feel the cares of the day slip away. So many of the Calvin and Hobbes strips are like old friends to me, the kind you can meet up with every few years to laugh and reminisce and say, “Remember when scientific progress went boink!?” Good times.
I feel like I should keep writing—there’s so much more to say—but I have the book open in front of me, Calvin and Hobbes are playing archaeologist in the backyard, and I’m having trouble tearing myself away. If you’re also a fan, you will understand why I have to stop writing and turn the page; if you’re not a fan, poor you.
I’m going to read now, and maybe later I’ll jump into my spaceship and zoom off to an unexplored and very dangerous planet, or perhaps I’ll transmogrify myself into an elephant. Boink!
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12.29.08
Posted in Editorial Musings, Newsletter at 12:18 pm by Administrator
Editors, publishers, and agents receive countless manuscripts every single day. If your manuscript is somewhere in that pile, you will want it to stand out and attract the attention it deserves—but you certainly don’t want to get noticed for the wrong reasons. The first thing any reader will notice about your manuscript is its overall appearance, and the kind of sloppy appearance that results from inattention to formatting makes a bad first impression. The formatting and appearance of your manuscript may not have much to do with the quality of your writing, but if you are trying to get published, you will want to convey quality and professionalism in every aspect of your work. Follow these tips to create a sharp-looking manuscript.
1. Choose a simple font and stick with it. You can’t go wrong with 12-point Times New Roman. I know, there are a prettier, more exciting fonts out there, but publishers and agents are not going to bother straining their eyes to read your beautiful script font; they will move on to the next candidate.
2. Double-space your document by using the paragraph-formatting features in your word processor. It is worth taking the time to learn how to do this. Do not use two hard returns between lines or paragraphs unless you have a reason for doing so (i.e., a scene break).
3. Do not use two spaces between sentences. Many of us learned to type on typewriters, and we were told to leave two spaces between each sentence, but with word processing programs this is no longer necessary. One space will do.
4. Do not hit the enter key at the end of every line (unless you’re writing poetry). This is another habit held over from typewriter days. With word processing programs, you can continue to type happily along and the text will automatically shift to the next line when necessary.
5. Insert a hard return (hit the enter key) at the end of a paragraph or when you want to start a new line. Do not hit the space bar or tab key repeatedly to force the cursor to the next line. I’ve spent many hours cleaning up manuscripts whose authors were apparently unaware of the function of the enter key (hours that would have been better spent working on the words in the manuscript). Similarly, do not use the tab key or space bar to create centered or right-justified text. Use the paragraph-formatting features on your word processor instead. If you don’t know how to use these features, learn. It is really very simple and will actually save you time in the end.
6. Indent the first line of each paragraph by hitting the tab key or setting your paragraph formatting to “first line indent.”
7. Try to use part numbers, chapter numbers, and subheadings consistently. I’ve read many a book with a Part II but no Part I (or vice versa) or Chapter 1 and CHAPTER II, closely followed by Chapter Five. This kind of inconsistency suggests that perhaps you haven’t put much thought into this project.
8. Do not manually type page numbers or headers onto every page. Instead, learn how to use your word processor to insert the headers and page numbers automatically. Learning to use these features will save you time.
9. Put this information on the first page of your document: The title (and subtitle, if applicable), the word count, the genre, and your name and contact information. Also, name your file with your last name and the title of your manuscript (i.e., Andrews—My Life Story).
10. And most importantly, if you are submitting to a publisher or agent who requires you to follow specific formatting procedures, forget everything I just told you and follow their guidelines to the letter!
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12.24.08
Posted in Editorial Musings at 8:49 pm by Administrator
May all wordsmiths be blessed with inspiration to craft stories of peace, understanding, and growth,
May all word mechanics and book doctors be blessed with discipline and insight to perfect those stories and let the authors’ voices sing,
And may all readers be blessed with open minds and imaginations to allow themselves to journey to beautiful realms full of possibilities and the promise of new life.
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12.11.08
Posted in Editorial Musings at 11:53 pm by Administrator
I read quite a lot of fantasy and science fiction when I was in high school (I was a complete and utter nerd, and fantasy/sci-fi was just part of the package). I still enjoy a good fantasy or sci-fi book every once in a while and wish I had time to read more of them. There is one thing, though, that I have not missed: made-up languages. The imaginary languages are more prevalent in fantasy books, and they are frequently spoken by elves. I have nothing at all against elves. Actually I enjoy elves, and once upon a time I even enjoyed reading their languages. Well, now that I think about it, “enjoyed” is probably not the right word; “endured” would be more accurate. I tried to take the made-up languages seriously, but it was so much easier to just skim or skip those parts and get back to the actual story. That was all back in my pre-editor days.
These days, when most of my elf-related reading is for work, I have to pay attention to the occasional elf language. This raises a question that continues to mystify me: How does one edit a language that is totally made up? Is “ihspa” the correct spelling? And would the plural be “ihspi,” “ihspas,” or “ihspe”? The mind boggles. Fortunately, many authors tell me to just leave their elf language alone, and I very happily do so. Seriously, editing English is hard enough sometimes; who needs the added complication of having to learn a new language along the way?
In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that there are some made-up words that I love. My favorite book is Watership Down, which includes some vocabulary in Lapine, the rabbits’ language. This language does not annoy me because, for the most part, the words are used one at a time rather than in long quotations, they are used consistently, and they are explained very well. Maybe it’s only because I have read the book so many times, but a few Lapine words are even part of my daily vocabulary. Yes, I call my car a “hrududu” (which sounds so much more interesting than “car”), I think “embleer” (“stinking”) is a great curse word (“I’ll shovel the embleer snow”), and I’ve been known to utter, “Oh, Frith in a fog,” but only when no one is listening. Which brings up my last point for today: I only speak Lapine when I am alone, and no one actually knows I do this, so do me a favor and don’t tell anyone, would you?
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12.09.08
Posted in Editorial Musings at 11:13 pm by Administrator
I’ve edited many, many books that include wedding scenes, and it is very rare to get through such a scene without running across at least one typo that is, well, funny. I’ve kept a list of my favorites over the years, and I finally have enough funny typos to write my very own wedding story. Here goes.
At last, Britney’s weeding day had arrived. She was all aflutter and atwitter, not knowing if she would get through the cerealmony without throwing up. Soon she would be weeded to the man of her dreams! She only hopped she would remember the special voles she had written. At the church, Britney walked down the isle on her father’s strong arm as the flower girl tossed flower pedals on the ground before them. There, in the alter area, stood Bobby, her husband-to-be. He was so handsome in his tuxedo with tales and his clumber bun. He smiled brightly, watching the approach of his beautiful bribe. Then, before the alter, they recited their weeding vowels, “A, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y,” and then they kissed while the quests clapped in applause.
I’m quite proud of my little story, especially that bit about the “alter area” and “before the alter.” Some people (i.e., men) might even tell you that “alter” is not a typo. And I’m pretty sure “A, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y” could catch on as a hip, modern addition to “love, honor, and obey,” especially among English majors.
Oh, and if your response to my little wedding story was one of confusion and “What typos? I didn’t see any typos,” you should really hire me, because I am a professional and I know just how to help you.
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12.06.08
Posted in Editorial Musings at 5:58 pm by Administrator
Got a word nerd on your Christmas list and don’t know what to get them? Well, most of us already have enough dictionaries, style guides, etc. (Actually, that isn’t true, but who wants a job-related book for Christmas?) Wouldn’t it be grand to give something truly unexpected, to see your editor’s little eyes light up when your gift is revealed? Try one of these:
1. Badger Balm. No, it’s not made from badgers. These organic balms are wonderful for soothing your mind, perking you up, or sending you to sleep. Try the Mind Balm Duet Set for your editor.
2. Juggling bags (or, for the more adventurous editor, juggling knives). When I need a quick break from editing, I stand up, grab my trusty beanbags, and juggle for five minutes. It’s a great change of pace.
3. Dr. Andrew Weil’s Healthy Brain Kit. Because you want your editor’s brain to be healthy for a long, long time. Available from Amazon.com.
4. A lavender eye pillow. Ah, sweet lavender… A great way to relax after a hard day’s editing.
5. A “There’s No Crying in Editing” t-shirt. Just a reminder that editing is not for sissies.
6. English Majors with Garrison Keillor. Many of us enjoy A Prairie Home Companion, and even those of us who weren’t English majors can appreciate “Lives of the English Majors.”
7. Harry Potter Quidditch Goggles. Because some of us want to be Harry Potter, and even those who don’t would look cool in these babies (and you just never know when you might need goggles for a particularly tough editing job).
8. The Reduced Shakespeare Company, Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) . Hilarious. I saw the show live last year and laughed so much I was actually in pain the following day.
9. Make a donation to help build a library in Morocco. For the editor who doesn’t need or want more “stuff.” All word nerds know the importance of education and literacy.
10. A one-week vacation to a tropical paradise. If you truly love your editor. (And if you send me, I would like to go someplace that’s fairly quiet and has great birding!)
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12.02.08
Posted in Editorial Musings at 11:32 am by Administrator
This is another of my pet peeves. It’s not quite bad enough to make me poke my eyes out, but it is pretty darn close. I have never liked books in which every character—every single character, no matter how minor—is described in terms of their height and weight, in addition to hair and eye color and, of course, every article of clothing there are wearing. And the descriptions always look something like this:
Roxanne was 5′4″ 120lbs, long and blond with blue eyes…
Ignore the fact that the description doesn’t really make sense. (Would you really describe a five-foot-four-inch woman as “long”? I didn’t think so.) Do we really need to know exactly how tall she is and how much she weighs? It seems to me that “average,” “tall and skinny,” and “short and fat” are perfectly good descriptions. Of course, if the character is exceptionally tall or short or is a boxer or a member of a basketball team, giving an exact height and weight may be in order. Even giving a very exact description of an average character is fine if there is some reason for it, but when every character is described this way, my eyes start to glaze over. Seriously, I think these kinds of descriptions only make the reader work harder to form a picture of every single character. I can easily picture a woman who is of average height and a little overweight, but 5′5″ 145lbs—I have to think about that.
And don’t get me started on the clothes. If you could see me here in my sweats, t-shirt, and torn flannel shirt, you would understand that I’m not so much into fashion. It’s just hard for me to care about the little details of what every character is wearing all the time—again, unless there is some reason we need to know exactly how the character is dressed (as in the description of myself in the previous sentence).
I could go on and on, but I won’t. This has been a somewhat subdued rant from an editor who is 5′6″ 125lbs, short brown with brown eyes, badly dressed.
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