03.07.09
How Does a Dinosaur Text?
I believe I am the world’s slowest sender of text messages. Part of the problem is lack of practice; I text fairly infrequently, so my thumbs don’t always know what to do. Another problem is age; 40-year-old thumbs are naturally slower than 16-year-old thumbs. But the most serious drag on my messaging speed is the simple fact that I am a writer and editor and cannot bring myself to assault the English language with concoctions like “gr8.”
The various contractions and inventions are, I suppose, quite useful in the texting world. Certainly serious texters can’t take the time—or character space—to spell out every single word. Our language changes constantly, and I embrace that evolution as evidence that English is alive and kicking. We need a constant supply of new words and meanings to keep up with modern life. Still, some of us aren’t quite ready to participate in the messaging language revolution. I think of us as the Old Guard, standing fast against the constant barrage of fast-forward sloppiness that is currently insulting the English language. Others may prefer to call us dinosaurs.
How does a dinosaur text? Slowly, methodically, thoughtfully, maybe even ploddingly.
When I text, I spell out every word (except standard contractions, for which I take the time to insert an apostrophe, every single time), I tend to write complete sentences, and I use appropriate punctuation (yes, I even write “2:30” rather than “230”). Oh, I also proofread everything I send. Clearly, this method is not designed for speed (but neither am I—I also drive in the slow lane).
Speed isn’t everything. Consider accuracy, beauty of expression, the perfect turn of phrase. All of these tend to be lost in texting. And so I and my fellow dinosaurs will leave it to others to fly along at breakneck speed in their quest to be the fastest at saying the most (or is it the least?).
Why fly when you can plod?
